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Reminiscing is so much fun as long as you aren’t one of those losers who lives in the past. For that reason, when things of the past are brought up (even the asshole who once treated you like sh*t – this is funny now!) the laughter and excitement that comes with it is priceless.
I would like to take a trip down memory lane and share with you some things that were TOTALLY COOL, in the past. Ya know, in the days when “cool” was still a thing, because you were forced to hang out with the same people who somehow had the fake power to determine what was cool and what was not. Nowadays. there really is no such thing as “cool,” because you get to hang out with the people you actually want to.
Who am I kidding. There is still a thing as cool. And it’s in my corner.
Anyway, let’s start discussing. Chances are, if you had these items back in the day, you will probably get as equally as excited about this as I am writing it. I am going to jump around to different age ranges – but you’ll deal with it.
In fact, there are so many things I want to throw on this list. But we shall do it in parts. Part 1 will be materialistic belongings that do not include games. Games…TV Shows…etc…will be saved for another day.
Here goes it!
1) THIS EXACT New Kids On The Block sleeping bag. Not sure if they made another one, but if they did and you had it – that’s weird.
2) These plastic circle shirt pull through contraptions – remember how much it SUCKED when your shirt wasn’t long enough to tie in a knot? THE STRESS! Well, these solved that very serious problem.
3) PUPPY SURPRISE! “surprise surprise puppy surprise how many puppies are there inside!!” The PREGGERS puppies – with the velcro stomach where baby puppies came out of. It was a surprise how many puppies they would have! Which, if the answer was 1 or 2 puppies only, resulted in me having a serious effing hissy fit and demanding a return and repurchase. Thanks Mom & Dad!
4) Tamagotchi. I mean, this was the first early sign of my addictive personality. Try to tear that key chain away from me and you might lose your effing head. I NEED TO CLEAN UP ROBOT POOP AND MY TAMAGOTCHI NEEDS TO BE FED OR HE MIGHT DIE!!!!!!!!! Shoot, hold the phone, he just shit again.
5) Slap Bracelets. Simply cool because they were fun. But then they got banned from school because some ignoramouses (yes that is a word in my personal dictionary) hurt themselves while slapping. Thanks for ruining this experience for all of us.
6) Beanie Babies. I can’t even tell you how many of these I had. I could star in an entire episode of Hoarders based on my collection alone. In addition, I had a white Seal with a misplaced name tag (ie the Seal’s name was supposed to be “Seamore” but it read “Batty”) and I was convinced it was worth ONE MILLION dollars. In addition to the Princess Di Bear, any every other “limited edition” beanie baby…come to think of it, I believe EVERY beanie baby started to read “limited edition” — thus making them “must haves.” Jokes on us. Good one TY.
7) POGS. Cardboard circles with designs and characters on them that were originally supposed to be a game, however, if you were a girl, they served no significance but to show off your collection. THE MORE THE BETTER. In fact, they became just so unmanageable that plastic cylindrical cases were necessary. From there, those pogs never saw the light of day. But they didn’t need to! Knowing and showing off that the cases were filled was enough to brag and say “I have more than you.” Suck it.
8) LISA FRANK EVERYTHING. From folders, to trapper keepers, to markers to stickers. One time I wrote “I ❤ Zach” in red marker on the inside of my Lisa Frank folder. Zack sat next to me in class. When I took my papers out, Zach saw this. I never forgot it. Speaking of, Urban is trying to bring back Lisa Frank. I may just have to buy it.
9) Speaking of stickers, sticker collections were VERY SERIOUS. I had my stickers in a laminate book. Sandy Lion stickers were my favorite. If you didn’t have Sandy Lion stickers in your collection then A) You were NEVER going to do business with me (I ran a tight sticker trading ship) and B) your collection was NOT good or valuable, and in turn, you were not cool.
10) The Laser background in every and all school pictures.
11) Polly. Effing. Pocket. Nothing says “cool” more than a portable mini doll playland. And I don’t care what you say, the free ones that came in your McDonald’s happy meals were NOT the same. Grow up.
Sidenote: This was something I did NOT share.
12) Scrunchies. No explanation needed.
13) The Bumble Ball. This shit kept my baby sister (and dogs) entertained for HOURS! Set it and forget it!
14) Keds. With Sparkle and Design. Is Stride Rite still a thing? Because going to Stride Rite was like better than 8 nights of Hannukah.
15) Best Friend Necklaces. Not sure why a broken heart resembled a BEST friendship, but whatevs, it soooooooooo did! Also, definitely only friends with maybe 1 of the 8 “other half best friend” recipients to this day. But hey, that says a lot. Hi Sam!
16) LOONEY TUNES CLOTHING. I had Keds with the Tasmanian Devil on them. I had shirts and leggings with patchwork. But most importantly, I had this jean jacket, and my Mom AND Dad each had this leather one. Pretty sure their leather jacket cost around $400. So worth it. NOTHING WAS COOLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get excited even just typing about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17) Writing on your backpack with Whiteout. You know the new monogrammed L.L. Bean backpack Mom just bought you? Well, ruined in negative 30 seconds by whiteout graffiti. Best friends’ initials, doodles, and designs. Maybe some paw prints and a 143 thrown in there for some girly flair.
18) Paris Blues. When Mudd became soooooo ’96.
19) Kate Spade Mini Backpacks. I mean, most shocking news of today? That Kate Spade is still around, and has great bags, shoes, & accessories (not a fan of the clothes). I mean HOW UGLY ARE THESE BACKPACKS?! Either way, back then, they were totally cool and a status symbol. Or, a status symbol that your parents had money. OR, THAT I BABYSAT EVERY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY FOR 6 MONTHS TO SAVE FOR THIS SHIT. I always worked hard for my money, haters. Anyways the words mini and backpack should never ever go together in a sentence for the rest of time.
And after the backpack, you probably graduated to this:
And finally, to this, but not for any diaper purposes:
20) The Tiffany’s Tag bracelet. Now that I brought up the Kate Spade backpack, I HAVE to mention the Tiffany’s bracelet, or where I come from, the “jap tag.” I also had the matching toggle necklace! Man this shit is ugly. And if you still are wearing this bracelet today, in 2013, 1) HAHAHAHAH 2) Throw it out.
That concludes part 1!
Were you cool?
Do you agree, disagree? What did I miss?
Every year, the hottest celebs (with a few randos thrown in there) pull out all of the fashion stops for the Met Gala. I don’t need to explain what it is, because frankly I am not sure what goes on inside, and I’m pretty sure I’ll never know. But we can assume, there are a few speeches, alcohol, and a lot of coke blowing in the bathrooms.
Needless to say, we aren’t part of the fun, so let’s just focus on what’s important anyway. The red carpet.
Each year there is a theme, which you must base your fashion choice off of. Since some of you may be stupid, here are some past examples of Met Gala themes:
2008: Superheroes: Fashion & Fantasy
2009: Model as Muse: Embodying Fashion
2010: American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity
2011: Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty
2012: Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversations
Which brings us to this year’s theme:
2013: PUNK: Chaos to Couture
Now, when I judge the looks, I base it off of how well their dresses translated to the theme. This has to be so difficult to pull off, while still looking amazing – which is why my top picks should receive extra brownie points and thank whatever poor human being sat there hand making their dress. So, without further ado, here are my favorite/least favorite looks of the evening, separated by appropriate categories and RANKED starting with my top pick.
BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT: PUNK, FROM CHAOS TO COUTURE:
1) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Gucci
Just absolutely perfect from head to toe.
2) Rooney Mara in Givenchy Couture (Riccardo Tisci)
Granted this isn’t much of a stretch for the normally punky Rooney, but she absolutely killed it. The lips were a perfect “cherry on top” for the finish. She’s so murderer-chic.
3) Cara Delevingne in Burberry
Not sure who the hell she is, but this bitch nailed it! Spikes, makeup, jewelry, plunging neckline…Shes also super friggin hot and I feel extremely depressed that I don’t look like her.
4) Anne Hathaway in Vintage Valentino (1992)
YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. “I don’t caaaaaaare, I love it!” I am assuming she went blonde SPECIFICALLY for this occasion (she WOULD), but it doesn’t even matter. Anne/Annie looks ridiculous in this dress. Anyone who has seen “Love and Other Drugs” knows that this ahole of a woman has the best boobs in the biz. This dress flaunts her side boob in a serious but tasteful way, her body looks insane, and her make up is flawless. DID I MENTION THIS EVENT DID NOT REQUIRE HER TO TALK? PLUS 10.
5) Kate Bosworth in Balmain
The dress says it all, the hair, not so much — but who needs more when you are wearing a Balmain mini?
6) Sienna Miller in Burberry
She’s baaaaaaaaaack! The hot Sienna we all know and love (I was afraid she let herself go there for a few years). While the white gown underneath is on the more simple side, the fact that she mix and matched elegant with punky gave me some tingles. Her hair, her jewelry AND THAT JACKET! Siiiiiiiiigh. THAT JACKET.
7) Christina Ricci in Vivienne Westwood Couture
This girl took a risk, and personally I think it paid off. The dress totally fits the theme and she pulls it off. Aside from when I wanted to slice her eyeballs out in a fit of jealous rage when she hooked up with Devon Sawa in “Casper,” I have had a thing for Christina Ricci FOR YEARS. I am absolutely convinced she’s one of the coolest chicks to walk this earth.
8) Miley Cyrus in Marc Jacobs
This is the one time I will say I love Miley’s hair. Other than that, it needs to effing go. Don’t you just hate it when cute people electively make themselves look worse? Wait, I take that back…I love it.
Anyways, people were bitching that this dress looked a lot like Kate Moss’ Marc Jacobs dress back in the day. But, I think it was completely different. Miley sparkled and oozed confidence, and for that, she’s on this list.
9) Jessica Biel in Giambattista Vallie Couture
Aside from her fake nose ring she sported, the dress is so fashion forward and could be translated as “punk” any day of the week. Clearly the showstopping factor here is the caged look of the pants under the dress.
10) Allison Williams in Altuzarra
For a girl who is just breaking into the “scene,” I am SO HAPPY she went a little nutso with her dress choice. This is different, the sheer inserts are sexy, and I love that it has a gothic punk vibe. Love it or hate it, this girl is on the up and up especially with this dress choices.
Do you think Brian Williams watched that scene where she fingered herself in the bathroom? I’ve wondered this for over a year.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: YOU DANCED ON THE LINE OF MY BEST DRESSED, BUT JUUUUUST MISSED IT.
Minka Kelly in Carolina Herrera
Jamie King in Topshop
Nina Dobrev in Monique Lhuillier
Emmy Rossum in Donna Karan Atelier
Kristen Stewart in Stella McCartney
Jennifer Lopez in Michael Kors
Stacy Keibler in Rachel Roy
AND…………KHALEESI in Ralph Lauren
WORST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT: PUNK, FROM CHAOS TO COUTURE:
AT LEAST YOU TRIED!
1) Katy Perry in Dolce & Gabbana
This dress is so gross to me, and I cannot understand why this girl tries SO hard to be weird and constantly makes herself look ugly? UGHHHHH.
2) Ginnifer Goodwin in Tory Burch
Her make up literally gives her a modern-day unibrow and the dress does negatron things for her figure. Scary. Fail.
4) Beyonce in Givenchy Haute Couture by Riccardo Tisci
I love you Bey, but this was not flattering 😦
5) Kim Kardashian in Givenchy by Ricardo Tisci
While she looked like my grandmother’s couch, I honestly don’t think she was THE worst. But, yeah, it was pretty awful. The camoflauged hand/glove thing was a cool idea, but not in this print. ALSO – THE ONE TIME YOU DECIDE NOT TO WEAR BLACK? Go figure. She does all of this on purpose, to create a buzz, I am 100% sure of it.
6) Nicki Minaj in Tommy Hilfiger
What is wrong with her? I haven’t watched American Idol, but I hear she’s bat shit cray.
7) Sarah Jessica Parker in a Giles gown and Philip Treacy headpiece
Seriously, SEX AND THE CITY IS OVAH.
8) Solange Knowles in Kenzo
I hate the hair and the dress is just fugly.
9) Ashley Olsen in Vintage Dior
I had high hopes and she let me down. WHAT IS THAT?
10) Nicole Richie in Topshop
I also have to say that Taylor Swift was very VERY close to making this list. I already am not a fan, but she compeletely ruined her look by throwing her hair in a high up half pony like I used to do in the 2nd grade.
And FINALLY this category:
MY NAME IS ___________________ AND I THINK I AM TOO GOOD TO HONOR ANY SORT OF THEME WHATSOEVER. ALSO, I AM NO FUN.
Anna Wintour – It’s my party and I’ll wear whatever I want to. DUH.
Gwyneth Paltrow DUH.
Katie Holmes DUH. (At least she went with Pacey. She got one thing right!)
Lindsey Vonn DUH.
Dylan Lauren, okay, so I guess she has a reason seeing as her last name is Lauren.
Kate Upton, not a DUH. I was surprised. I could seriously wear this to my sister’s graduation this weekend. BO-RING.
Want to know what I surprisingly didn’t hate? THIS.
And just because…we are going to end with this…ABOVE ALL ELSE.
I realize that there are A listers who weren’t mentioned here, but THERE WERE A LOT OF DRESSES HAPPENIN’ LAST NIGHT.
So, let me know what your opinions are, I’d love to hear!
Til next year.
As you should know by now, I am really into fashion, hair, and all the latest trends….and accessories rank extremely high on both my fashion and importance scales.
As a caveat, any sort of fashion/clothes/accessories item you see here — will always be an accurate depiction of my style choices…I would never want to share an item with you guys that I wouldn’t wear. I CANNOT have my readers running around looking all cheesy and gross.
So, my newest discovery and obsession are Samantha Faye necklaces (http://shopsamanthafaye.com/). They are cute, dainty, girly, and trendy all in one. Not only that, but you can shorten or elongate the chains which makes them PERFECT for layering.
The collection has all different categories of charms and colors (silver, gold, rose gold), ANNNND her owl necklace was JUST featured in US Weekly in this weeks issue, seen here:
I just recently got the Apple necklace from the “Modern Classic” Collection in rose gold. I cant wait to buy a second necklace to layer — I will probably go with either the cupcake or the pineapple. Super cute (And only $68)!!!!
In addition, for Blondhairdontcare.com readers, Samantha gave us a discount to utilize….10% off any purchase! So perhaps YES to both the cupcake AND the pineapple??
Oh and PS: Unless you are living under a rock you know that PINEAPPLES ARE TOTALLY IN THIS SUMMER.
Here is the discount:
USE IT AND ABUSE IT!
SHOP HER NECKLACES HERE: http://shopsamanthafaye.com/
Don’t you just love “knowing” me?!
Comment and let me know which ones you got! I will also try to help you make some decisions!
After many comments, where people basically confirmed I had a spending problem and spent way too much money on clothes, I legit made an effort to wear a LESS pricey outfit this weekend.
Yes…you guys are now influencing how I pick my outfits…and live my life. So, without further ado, here is what I wore this weekend:
1) Forever 21: Ruched Southwestern Top. This shirt is 9 dollars and 80 effing cents! CHEAPEST THING I’VE EVER OWNED (and actually worn) so all you gurlz quit your ‘plainin and buy it:
Paired with and tucked into this…
2) Boundary Vegan Imitation Leather Skirt in Oxblood
3) I did wear my Brian Atwood Nude pumps with this…but here are a cheaper alternative:
Well how did I do!?
Let me know if you purchase anything/are starting to dress more like me…cuz if you do, you’re pretty awesome.
Sheer tank, tee or sweater with jeans…boring.
Sheer tank, tee or sweater with a Top Secret Bra? Cool, sexy and fun.
I honestly have tons of tops that are either sheer, lace, loose, hang low on the sides…etc. I could never find the appropriate thing to wear under them…because lets face it, we aren’t in college where a cut up wife beater with a black or colored bra from VS underneath is socially acceptable. It looks trashy and unoriginal. You may as well be wearing glitter eye shadow and Lucite heels.
Top Secret bras are the perfect solution to this friggin problem. You can wear them under anything, and they complete the entire look. Plus, they are affordable and great quality. TRUST. I own 4.
INCLUDING this one that I liiiiiterally just bought seconds ago, and you probs should too:
USE THIS SPECIAL DISCOUNT FOR BLONDHAIRDONTCARE.COM READERS FOR 10% OFF THE TOPSECRETSOCIETY.COM SITE!
There are sequined bras, solid colored, lace…the list goes on.
In case you need extra guidance…here are some styling suggestions from yours truly. I kept it on the affordable side since the last fashion post was a little pricey!
So I love clothes, doy hickey. Sometimes people ask me where I get my shit, so I am going to start telling you here because it makes sense to.
If you see anything I am wearing and ever want to know what it is/where to get it…holler at your girl. (instagram: @jaclynswartz) So, here is my first outfit post which is what I wore this weekend out to dinner then to get shmammered at various places.
I was debating if wearing hot pink in the middle of winter was appropes, so I asked my friend. She replied, “You have a blog called Blondhairdontcare, snap out of it,” to which I thought AMEN SISTA.
1) Dolce Vita Vive Top
2) Club Monaco Tasha Leggings
3) Kendra Scott Harlow Statement Necklace
4) Brian Atwood Nude Pumps
And here is the only (drunk) pic I have of my outfit this weekend with the gorge Ashley Spivey. DUCK FACE FOR LIFE.